Dear Principle Kelly
by scott has a pole up his ass
Summary: The Bhood sing a song from West Side Story, Dear officer Krupke, to Principle Kelly, they just change the lyrics aound a bit, hold him down, attract a crowd and hit lots of people on the top of the head with rolled up newspaper, so yeah R


"Hey you!" Kelly yelled, making his way over to the brotherhood.

"Who me principle Kelly?" Pietro asked, putting up a face of mock innocence.

"Yeah you give me one good reason for not dragging you down to the station you punk!" Kelly yells, glaring at him.

Pietro gets down on his knees and starts singing: Dear kindly principle Kelly you gotta understand it's just our bringing upke that gets us out of hand. Our mother is a terrorist our fathers all are psyko's. Golly moses naturally we're punks.

Pietro, Tabby, Todd, Lance : Gee principle Kelly we're very upset. We never had the love that every child outta get.

Tabby, Pietro and Lance: We ain't no deliquents, we're misunderstood, deep down inside there is good.

Todd: There is good.

Tabby, Pietro, Lance and Todd: There is good, there is good there is untapped good. Like inside the worst of us is good.

"That's a touching good story." Kelly replied sarcastically, while a crowd started to form around them.

Pietro: Let me tell it to the world!

"Just tell it to the judge!" Kelly snarled.

Lance: Who's gunna be the judge?

"Wait, I meant a real judge!" Kelly yelled, being dragged by Todd to sit down next to judge Tabby.

Pietro: Dear kindly judge your honor, my parents treat me rough. With all the killing people they won't give me a gun. They didn't wanna have me, but somehow I was had! Leaping lizards that's why I'm so bad.

Tabby, while grabbing Kelly: Right! Principle Kelly you're really a dick! This boy don't need a judge he needs an analysts care! It's just his neurosis that outta be curbed. He's psychologically disturbed!

Pietro: I'm disturbed!

Pietro, Lance and Todd: We're disturbed, we're disturbed we're the most disturbed, like we're psychologically disturbed.

"That's for sure." Rogue scoffed, entering the crowd with Kitty and Kurt.

"All you mutants are insane!" Kelly yelled, trying to get away, but Lance held him down.

"Go boil your bottoms you sons of a silly person!" Kurt yelled back at him. [1]

"Your mother was a hamster and yah father smelt of elderberries!" Rogue also yelled, high fiving Kurt. [2]

Kelly looked at them like they were freaks.

Tabitha hits a book against a wall: Here ye here ye! In the opinion of this court this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal family home.

Pietro: Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

Tabby hits him on the top of the head with her book: So take him to a head shrinker. You!

Lance: Who me?

Todd: You be the head shrinker!

Lance goes and sits next to Pietro while Kelly tries to get away but can't because of Tabby's death grip on his arm.

Pietro: My dad beats my mommy, my mommy clobbers me, my grandpa is a commie my grandma pushes tea, my sister wears a mustache-

"I do not!" Wanda screamed from the other side of the school.

Pietro continuing like he didn't hear that: my brother wears a dress. Goodness gracious that's why I'm a mess!

Lance: Yes! Principle Kelly he shouldn't be here.

"I've tried to get you guys to leave." Kelly grumbled under his breath.

Lance slaps Kelly and continues: This boy don't need a couch, he needs a useful career. Society's played him a horrible trick. So sociologically he's sick!

Pietro: I am sick.

Tabby, Pietro and Todd: We are sick, we are sick we are sick, sick, sick. Like we're sociologically sick!

"That's like for sure." Kitty grumbled.

"Well this is entertaining." Rogue shrugged.

"Should we tell Scott?" Kurt asked.

"And have world war three! Yeah right! Let's just enjoy the show." Rogue replied.

Lance: In my opinion this boy does not need to have his head shrunk at all-

"He needs his ego shrunk!" Rogue yelled.

Lance: Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease.

Pietro: Hey I've got a social disease!

Lance: So take him to a social worker. You!

Tabby: Which way?

Lance: That way.

"Let me out of here!" Kelly yelled, but Tabby and lance were now clinging on to him.

Pietro: Dear kindly social worker. They tell me get a job, like be a soda jerker, which means I'd be a slob! It's not I'm anti social, I'm only antiwork. That's why I'm a jerk!

Todd: principle Kelly you've done it again! This boy don't need a job he needs a year in the pen!

"I'll say." Kelly muttered.

Todd: It's not just a question of misunderstood, deep down inside him he's no good.

Pietro: I'm no good.

Tabby, Pietro and Lance: We're no good, we're no good, we're no earthly good. Like the best of us is no damn good!

Todd hits Pietro on the top of the head with a rolled up newspaper: The trouble is he's lazy!

Tabby hits Pietro on the top of the head with rolled up newspaper: The trouble is he drinks!

Lance hits Pietro on the top of the head with rolled up newspaper: The trouble is he's crazy!

Rogue hits Pietro on the top of the head with rolled up newspaper: The trouble is he stinks!

Kurt hits Pietro on the top of the head with rolled up newspaper: The trouble is he's growing!

Kitty hits Pietro on the top of the head with rolled up newspaper: The trouble is he's grown!

Pietro, Tabby, Lance, Todd, Rogue and Kurt: Kelly we've got troubles of our own!

Lance throws Pietro into Kelly's arms and the rest get down on their knees, except for Kitty who watches, scowling.

Lance, Tabby, Todd, Kurt and Rogue: Principle Kelly we're down on our knees.

Pietro: 'Cuz no one wants a fellow with a social disease.

Kelly then drops Pietro on the floor.

Lance, Tabby, Todd, Kurt and Rogue: Principle Kelly what are we to do?

Pietro: Gee principle Kelly, DAMN YOU!

Pietro then hits Kelly on the top of the head with the news paper and runs away, while Kelly falls over unconscious.

"Coward." Tabby rolled her eyes, hoping in Lance's jeep with Todd and driving away.

"Let's not tell Scooter about this." Rogue announced, while Kurt nodded in agreement, and the two walked away, with the crowd, seeing that there was nothing left to do.

With that Kitty walked up to Lance, seething.

"Kitty….what's wrong?" Lance asked, fearing that he might be phased half way through a wall.

"Ugghhh! Lance you are such a hood!" Kitty yelled walking away.

"Kitty!" Lance called after her, but she was gone. He then looked around and muttered to himself "What's a hood?"

**Authors Note**

Okay so [1] and [2] were both quotes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a very very stupid yet hilarious movie.

So yeah **REVIEW**


End file.
